SELF-LOVE — TRINE KRISTIANSEN

I know the whole self-love thing is being talked about all over the place right now and I’m sure you've heard about the concept everywhere you look. However, no matter how many times you’ve heard it, the message still remains crucial to hear. Self-love is a concept that each and every one of us should take to heart, because we need to learn how to love ourselves.

Sometimes when people hear the word "self-love" they associate it with the word "selfish," but I want to tell you that self-love is not selfish. Self-love is empowering and inspiring. It's something we should all do every single day. Loving yourself doesn't, and shouldn't, take away the ability to love others, as being selfish does. Putting yourself first is about honoring yourself and your needs, without disregarding others. The basic truth is; if you love yourself, you'd be a happier, kinder and more positive person. When you are happier, you will be nicer and kinder and more open to others. You'll be more loving and more willing to trust, enjoy, and celebrate other people. You'll look for the good in yourself and in others and, as a result, you'll have a better relationship with yourself and with the ones you love. Self-love allows you to embrace who you are, and as a result, become better at loving not only yourself but others. Because if you don’t love yourself, how can you truly love someone else?

Self-love is really a state of appreciation for yourself that grows from actions that support your physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to better accept our strengths as well as our weaknesses. You'd become more compassionate, for yourself, and others.

SELF-LOVE IS NOT

- Being selfish and egoistic, just thinking about yourself, at the expense of others

- Liking yourself only when you achieve something big

- Liking yourself only when you manage to lose a few kilos

- An excuse to exercise more, creating a unhealthy exercise routine to punish yourself, and camouflaging it for self-love.

SELF-LOVE IS

- Unconditional feeling of love, appreciation and acceptance for yourself.

- Knowing that loving yourself will also benefit others.

- Being comfortable in your own skin.

- Choosing yourself, even if it means upsetting others and not being popular anymore. (Even if it means we leave a party before anyone else because we feel tired or overwhelmed)

- Telling what is true for us, not swallowing words that express what we truly feel, think, or want to do.

- Giving your body the nurturing, rest, exercise, and comfort it needs to the best of your ability.

- Accepting yourself with the good, the bad, the ugly, the sexy, and the smelly, all of it, and appreciating ourselves as a whole.

- Spending some quality, connected time with yourself instead of always watching TV or wasting time on the Internet.

- Learning to set boundaries that protect and nurture your relationships.

- Allowing yourself to make mistakes and not beating yourself up for making them. Instead, choosing to appreciate your desire to learn and grow.

How to start

There’s not only one answer to solve the puzzle of self love. There are many ways to get to loving yourself, and it’s different for everyone, because we all have many different ways of showing it. You can cultivate self-love through exercise, meditation, diet and other self-care rituals. Here's some ideas:

1. Practice daily affirmations. "I am enough", "I am worthy of love and happiness", "I release my negative thoughts", "I love myself deeply and fully"

2. Journal your strengths and everything about you for which you are grateful.

3. Prepare healthy meals for yourself. Put thought, effort and love into grocery shopping and meal preparation.

4. Love where you live. Create an organized, clean and pleasing home environment for yourself. Love plants? Surround yourself with plants. Love colors? Surround yourself with colors.

5. Set aside time for daily mindfulness practices such as yoga, meditation or deep breathing. These practices will help you connect with your highest self.

6. Make time for hobbies. Time for play and enjoyment is an important aspect of celebrating the gift of life.

7. Prioritize sleep and exercise. You must reboot and revitalize your being.

8. Moisturize your skin with lotions or oils. As you touch your skin, thank each body part for all it does for you.

9. Naked mirror work. Body gazing while standing tall in your most raw and real form- naked, all while saying affirmations to yourself, allowing the words to penetrate your soul and heart. Put emotion and feeling behind the words. You may laugh. You may cry. Each day may bring up a new feeling. Suggestions for affirmations: "I see you", "you are beautiful", "I love you."

10. Explore your spirituality. Believing in something opens up your soul to the beauty of belief and trust. When you explore your spirituality it will also take you on a journey to learning things about yourself and those new thoughts, feelings, passions, and raw emotions will make you appreciate yourself for being authentically you.

Learn. Read. Listen. Discover. Keep searching, and one day you will just get it. It’s like yoga. You practice for a long time trying to get into that one pose. It seems very tough. And then one day you do. And you realise how easy it is once you get it. You’re in perfect balance. And from that moment, you remember how to do this pose. Occasionally you might lose your balance, but you know what it feels like to be in the pose, and you have the ability to go back. Same goes for self-love.